THE OLD GAY WHISTLE TEST

A Rutland Weekend Pictosketch...

Hi. Welcome to...Whistle Test.
Tonight on Whistle Test, we've got ... Rex Higgins, Steve Flea, the Wretched Admiral Sphincter, Grunties, Hot Nudges, Red Buttocks, and Toad the Wet Sprocket, so... it promises to be... really good. We've also got preview of the new... Vomit album, and I'll shall be talking as usual, like this...
Wow.
But first off, here's our studio group, Toad the Wet Sprocket...

Try and imagine the most boring instrumental piece imaginable...

Wow. Great... It's finished.

Well, you'll all no doubt have recognized
who I've got with me now... Mantra Robinson.

Uhhhh.
Mantra, it's good to see you.
Yes, it is.

Mantra, your new album on the Vegetarian label, uh... "Karmic Subtopian Protoplasmic Maximised Mantric Arcadian Intrusions..."

It's been held up.
Why?
They're having trouble with the spelling.
It's a great title.
Yeah, I wrote it.
How long have you been on the album?
Uhh, about two weeks on the album, and about two years on the title.

I gather there's been a bit of trouble... within the group.
Yeah, um, our bass violinist Al Hutz had trouble remembering his name, so we dropped him down a lift shaft in California.

Yeah. How did the California tour go?
Oh, great, we're really proud of ourselves, you know, because in three nights we did over seven million dollars worth of damage.
Wow... not bad going. How many people came to the concert?
Five.
Five thousand.
No, five. Twelve with the roadies.
Not too good.
It was three better than New York, and on the England tour, we had just the roadies.

What's the group doing after America?
Well, Brad's doin' six years, Ronnie's had this sniggling brain injury since 1957, he's layin' down now.
And Pete?
Oh, Pete, he's a genius, he's too much.
Yeah, wow, right.
His alcohol intake...
Too much.
Far too much. He'd be playin' bottle neck guitar and drinkin' out of the bottle at the same time.
So, what happened?
Well, our manager wanted to fire 'im, but I was against that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wanted to kill 'im.
So, what did you do?
Well, we compromised. He fired 'im, and then I killed 'im.

As a group, you're really into violence. I remember on the Toronto tour, you burnt down your audience.
Yeah. Violence is really great, you know. It's only when I'm being really violent that I, I'm truly at peace.

Yeah.
That's a saying of Sigi's

Hello.
Hi.
Sigi's our guru.
He's from India?
No, he's from Shepherd's Bush, but he works in an Indian restaurant.
Mrs. Fletcher... she say... to understand everythink, we need to know nuthink, and to know nuthink, is to truly understand everythink.

Wow... yeah... heck. I can get off on that. Who is this Mrs. Fletcher?
She's his landlady. She gets these terrific insights into Man's nature, and Sigi sells 'em.

Are they good?
They're expensive.
Yeah... wow.

Well, I could rap on like this all evening, but instead, let's have a bit of music, from the Gerard's Cross Pop Festival, this is Splint... on the Abattoir label... Bandwagon.

Woooo!
I think I'll get myself on the bandwagon
With my twelve bar blues
And sing of love or magic dragons
For what else have I got to lose?

Yeah, I think I'll get myself on the bandwagon
Wear fancy clothes you can see through
and when I got all my drag on
You won't see me
But I'll see you

But all I gotta do is sing a little more like this
(tutti frutti, beauties on duty)
Or throw myself around
as though I'm bustin' for a piss
(sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me)
Or look sincere even when I don't really care
(sha na na na, sha na na na)
You know if I mean it
cause I go whoa yeah yeah!

I think I'll get myself on the bandwagon-nah
with my twelve bar blues
And sing of love or magic dragon
You know what I mean,
what else
I mean what else have I got to lose?
Thank you.

Yeah, right. Well now, Stan's gonna due a number for us... off his next album called... "Even Further Beyond The Grave."

(Stan's performance is completely soundless...)

Back To Rutland Weekend Index

COMMUNITY PHOTO GALLERY TOUR DATES AUDIO CHORDS VIDEO PHOTOS MESSAGE BOARD

Home | By Title | By 1st Line | Bonzo Dog Band | Grimms/ World | RWT/Rutles/Python | Solo
A | B | C | D | E-F | G | H | I | J-K | L | M | N | O-P | Q-R | S | T | U-W-Y
Site Map E-Mail Us! Links Text-Only

	Uhhhh. Mantra, it's good to see you. Yes, it is.
	Mantra, your new album on the Vegetarian label, uh... "Karmic Subtopian Protoplasmic Maximised Mantric Arcadian Intrusions..."
	It's been held up. Why? They're having trouble with the spelling. It's a great title. Yeah, I wrote it. How long have you been on the album? Uhh, about two weeks on the album, and about two years on the title.
	I gather there's been a bit of trouble... within the group. Yeah, um, our bass violinist Al Hutz had trouble remembering his name, so we dropped him down a lift shaft in California.
	Yeah. How did the California tour go? Oh, great, we're really proud of ourselves, you know, because in three nights we did over seven million dollars worth of damage. Wow... not bad going. How many people came to the concert? Five. Five thousand. No, five. Twelve with the roadies. Not too good. It was three better than New York, and on the England tour, we had just the roadies.
	What's the group doing after America? Well, Brad's doin' six years, Ronnie's had this sniggling brain injury since 1957, he's layin' down now. And Pete? Oh, Pete, he's a genius, he's too much. Yeah, wow, right. His alcohol intake... Too much. Far too much. He'd be playin' bottle neck guitar and drinkin' out of the bottle at the same time. So, what happened? Well, our manager wanted to fire 'im, but I was against that. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to kill 'im. So, what did you do? Well, we compromised. He fired 'im, and then I killed 'im.
	As a group, you're really into violence. I remember on the Toronto tour, you burnt down your audience. Yeah. Violence is really great, you know. It's only when I'm being really violent that I, I'm truly at peace.
	Yeah. That's a saying of Sigi's
	Hello. Hi. Sigi's our guru. He's from India? No, he's from Shepherd's Bush, but he works in an Indian restaurant. Mrs. Fletcher... she say... to understand everythink, we need to know nuthink, and to know nuthink, is to truly understand everythink.
	Wow... yeah... heck. I can get off on that. Who is this Mrs. Fletcher? She's his landlady. She gets these terrific insights into Man's nature, and Sigi sells 'em.
	Are they good? They're expensive. Yeah... wow.

	Well, I could rap on like this all evening, but instead, let's have a bit of music, from the Gerard's Cross Pop Festival, this is Splint... on the Abattoir label... Bandwagon.