Janitor's Kids

What's that you're playing?
Oh, just a piano.
I like you, you're kinda cute!
Oh, I'm just an ordinary fellow.
Me too. We were made for each other!
Hang it off, why pretend?

We're just the janitor's kids
Playin' on the penthouse floor
We know we shouldn't be here but
We done it many times before

We're just the janitor's kids
Pretending to be millionaires
Sipping champagne glasses
And sitting in expensive chairs

Knee deep in carpet with the help of Daddy's key
Hope he doesn't get the sack on account of you and me

We're up in paradise
High above the foyer
We're just the janitor's kids
Playin' on the penthouse floor

Hey, haven't I seen you someplace before?
It's a small world!
Monte Carlo?
Saint Moritz!
Of course, you were the one who came out of the cake!
And you were selling snowballs!

We're up in paradise
High above the foyer
We're just the janitor's kids
Playin' on the penthouse floor

Download Link (right click, "save link as") Duet with the great Gwen Taylor. from Rutland Weekend Television.

Jean Baudrillard

Pour l'amour des chiens
Pour l'amour des chiens

Le Boulevardier 
Jean Baudrillard et mort 
Plus ça change plus ça pareil 
Nous avons bon mots, sans explique
Mais jamais oublier Jean Baudrillard

Pour l'amour des chiens
Pour l'amour des chiens

Joe Public

My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the man in the street but I don't mind
I've got my place in society
I've got my feet on the ground
I've got my pride and my prejudices
No one can push me around

My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the proletariat but I don't mind

They know me for my common sense
They know they can't please all of me
They know I can't be fooled all of the time
I am what I am and I'm happy to be
Joe Public, that's me- Joe Public, that's me
‘Cause I put my faith in the powers that be
Joe Public, that's me

My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the great unwashed but I don't mind
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names can never hurt me
I've got my pride and my prejudices
I am what I am, and I'm happy to be
Joe Public, that's me
Joe Public, that's me (that's me)
Joe Public, that's me (that's me)
Joe Public (Joe Public) that's me (that's me)

I put my faith in the powers that be
Joe Public, that's me

I put my faith in the powers that be
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
(I'm sure you all know me)

Joke Shop Man

The Joke Shop Man has lots of gags
Like plastic ears, exploding fags
A million laughs to give your friends a treat
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha

The Joke Shop Man has lots of gags
He wraps them up in paper bags
Like sneezing powder, snakes and rubber feet

Joke Shop Man, help me if you can
It's all so very hard to understand
Joke Shop Man, make me Desperate Dan!

Just A Jester

I'm just a jester, just a silly man
I like to be as silly as I can
I wear a funny hat as anyone can see
But nobody laughs at me

Nobody laughs
Nobody laughs
Nobody laughs at me

I'm just a jester, just a fool at heart
Jesting is my science, jesting is my art
Jesting is my job, on that they all agree
But nobody laughs at me

(No!)
Nobody laughs  (no no!)
Nobody laughs  (no no!)
Nobody laughs at me
(No!)
Nobody laughs  (no no!)
Nobody laughs  (no no!)
Nobody laughs at me

See me hop! See me skip! Make a face! Fall down!
I'm mad as you can see
But nobody laughs, not a giggle, not a squeak!
And it's all because of the king
(IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE KING!)
Shhh!

I'm just a jester, laughter is my food
I try very hard but no one's in the mood
Just one, one! little smile would end my misery
But nobody laughs at me

DL From "East of the Moon" late 80s. Mono recording off TV. Neil is not actually singing, but he did write it so here it is!

Just One Of Those People (aka "One Of Those People")

I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time
I don't want no bad news messin' with my mind
I don't want no smart ass media clown
Wising me up and then dumbing me down
I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time

I'm just one of those people who puts up with crap everyday
Not just any ordinary crap
I'm talkin' about a constant stream here
Continually getting in my way
Crap in the workplace
Crap on the street
Crap in the junk food that I have to eat
I'm just one of those people who puts up with crap everyday

I'm just one of those people who some people call paranoid
Well who is and who isn't?
These days it's hard to tell
With so many reasons
For so many people to feel just more than
A little annoyed

What can you do when you're sure somebody
Is imagining imagining your reality
I'm just one of those people who some people call paranoid

I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time
Oh Lord I ask you is it such a crime?
The last thing I want is a feeling of guilt
when I'm wading through treacle on balsa wood stilts
I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time
Yes I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time

Fast (original) version, live download
Slow version Neil changed it into download

Just Another Story

Take any page from a book
Take a good look
What do you see?
Not just the words
It's like a thousand little people

Somebody help me with this story
Why does it always end the same?
Eveybody feeling sorry
Everybody saying, "It's a shame."

And as for those who say, "Why worry?
It's just a story anyway."
But it's just another story
Because it happened far away

Take the sound of a young mother crying
The little baby in her arms slowly dying
It's like a thousand violin strings

Somebody help me with this story
Why does it always end the same?
Everybody feeling sorry
Everybody saying, "It's a shame."

And as for those who say, "Why worry?"
Why should they worry anyway?
When it's just another story
Just another story
Just another story
Because it happened far away

		Russian cover
I have no idea where or when this version is from Download
Innes Book of Records tv show Download

Keeping Watch

I am keeping watch on you
You are keeping watch on me
I am keeping watch on you
And you are keeping watch on me

Let us keep on keeping watch
Keeping watch on us
Let us keep on keeping watch
Keeping watch on us

All together nowIamkeepingwatchonyou
I am keeping watch on you
Youarekeepingwatchonme
You are keeping watch on me
Iamkeepingwatchonyou
I am keeping watch on you
Andyouarekeepingwatchonme
And you are keeping watch on me

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A live performance - don't know from where or when

Keep On Rockin'

Boogie Woogie Mama dancin' to the beat
Shakin' everything and lookin' so sweet
I loosen up my collar I'm comin' to the boil
You can call me Popeye, but she's no Olive Oil
But all she said to me
Was "If you like what you see...

You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.

Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long."

Workin' up a fever, I got the butterflies
"Take it easy, honey, don't you know about guys?
My hearts a-beatin', beatin' like a drum
you're chewin' me up like a stick a gum"
But all she said to me
was, "If you like what you see...

You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.

You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long!"

Jumpin' and a jivin', boppin to the riff
Said, "Come on babe, I'm gettin' kinda stiff
A wind in my head and a buzzin' in my ear
One last dance and let's get outta here!"
But all she said to me
Was, "If you like what you see...

You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.

Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.

Ya gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.

Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long."

(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night long)

(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night long)

(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night...)

Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along

Runaway lovers taking their chances
Leaving their troubles behind
Kenny and Liza laugh at each other
Lovers are two of a kind

Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, running away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway

Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along

Watching their heads get bigger and smaller
Foolin' around with a spoon
Kenny and Liza sit by a jukebox
Making a meal of a tune

Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway

Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along

Passing the time with finger and thumb made
Flavourless gum stalactites
Kenny and Liza look on the bright side
Under the neon lights

Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway

Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway

Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along

For some reason this song is called "Kenny and Lisa" on Recollections 1.

Lipstickgleam
Hexachloraphene
Cling cling the ring
Clang clang she sang
It's tragic magic
There are no coincidences
But sometimes the pattern is more obvious

Lipstickgleam
Hexachloraphene
Cling cling the ring
Clang clang she sang
It's tragic magic
There are no coincidences
But sometimes the pattern is more obvious

Keynsham. Tell me more about Keynsham.
I don't want to talk about it.
I can't think.

King of Scurf

(scratch scratch scratch)
I had alot of acne and pimples (pop pop)
I had to stay at home
Eventually no one came near me
(Eeeew! Eeoogh!)
All I had was my comb
And when it came to girls
The other guys seemed to have all the luck
(Why, hello, honey, like to come to the high school hop tonight, huh?
Wha hy, you little chickadee!)
Until one day, I heard them say
(His comb is full of muck!)

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo oooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

Only last Saturday
We had a scene at our local pub
(Yah, yiy yiy yiy, that was fantastic!)
Everybody was jumpin' and jivin'
(Jump! Oooo!)
Some were doin' the Bop
(Bop shoo waddy waddy)
Oh, look what came over there!
I was shooping my head
The dandruff spread
Wow! Look at him go!
Like leaves blowin' off of the trees
Million teeny boppers and long haired moppers
In scurf right up to their knees
I can feel it in my sneakers!

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oool ooo ooo ooo ooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oooo hooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
King of Scurfers, yeah!

At the beach one day
A muscle man kicked some sand in my face
(Ha ha ha ha ha)
So I whipped out my comb and scratched my dome
And soon put him back in his place
That's better!
You see, the top of my head
Was evenly spread
Like the snow on top of the Alps (whoosh!)
The scurfin' kids really flipped their lids
When they saw the state of my scalp
Wow! The perfect amount!

(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!

Guess I'll just have to start from scratch

(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo ooo oooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Woo oooo oooo oooo
King of Scurfers, yeah!

(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh oh oh wah aaaah
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Aah aah aah aaaah aah
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
The King of Scurf
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Wah aah aah aah aah
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Whoa oh oh aah aaah
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Wah aah aah aaahahaa
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

Sorry, your browser doesn't support Java. (Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo ooo oooo
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Whoah oaah wah aah
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)

(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)

He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came
Faced with redundancy he turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name

Knicker elastic
Everybody used it
Knicker elastic
Nobody refused it
Knicker Elastic King, the Knicker Elastic King

A self-made man with a business to run
and something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy (ahhh ahhh)
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry

Knicker Elastic
Essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic
Upholder of society
The Knicker Elastic King,
Ooo la la

His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster (Ee bah gum!)

The price of raw materials
Coupled with inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet
... operation

And that's the story of the
Knicker Elastic King (and market forces)
The Knicker Elastic King  ('horses for courses')
A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
Ooo la la
The Knicker Elastic King

Knicker Elastic King 
(Off The Record & Innes Book of Records)

He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came
Ooooo hooo
And faced with redundancy he turned his mind to other things
And that is how he made his name

He's the Knicker Elastic King
Knicker Elastic King
A self-made man with a business to run
Something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
Ooo la la

Knicker Elastic - everybody used it
Knicker Elastic - nobody refused it
Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry

Knicker Elastic - essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic - upholder of society
Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King

His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster
Ooo hoo
The price of raw material
Coupled with inflation
Brought about his downfall
The bottom fell right out of the market

And that's the story of
The Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King
A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
ooo la-la
The Knicker Elastic King

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