Intro by list moderator Maria
In late May, Neil gave a one-off performance in the small town of Winchester UK in order to have a test run for his new stage show Innes Own Words, a collection of songs and anecdotes taken from the different stages of his career. Despite virtually non-existent promotion at a tiny venue, the turnout for the show was excellent (extra seating had to be brought in), and Neil--though evidently working on polishing the rough edges--seemed in good form. We had the chance to talk to him the next morning, when we put the following questions, all sent in by subscribers to the Neil Innes mailing list at Onelist, to him.



Post-intro:

This was transcribed from the tapes of this 22 May 1999 interview the list moderator & Louise Marriott sent us . They had the questions printed out and he sat with the paper in front of him, reading them off as he went along. All of the dialogue here was spoken by Neil, both reading the questions and answering them.

Mark and Harvey ask:
Have you got anything in the works for the near future:  album, video, book?
 
Yes... The book is a story I've been nurturing for some time.  I suppose it's a children's story, but it's children of all ages, really.  And I don't want to give the title away because I'm sure someone in this horrible world would steal it, it's such a good title. I think it is, anyway. I've been working on the book for a while, off and on, and I think it's getting better now, because it's getting shorter. Ha ha. I think it has to get shorter before it gets longer. videos, well I do want to try and get another television series going, based on the one I did recently about words. It's not easy at the moment, the climate in television just for dumbing down everything. I mean, I'd stand more chance of putting in a proposal and calling it "Bride's Nightie" or something like that, in which people would be humiliated and win prizes. There doesn't seem to be much room for the sort of thing I do on television at the moment.
 
Album-wise, there's quite a few things in the cupboard, which, um, you know, the Bonzo cupboard, um, we've got a chance to sort of market those ourselves--that's Samantha shaving over there. Hahaha, that's a joke that'll look really good in print! There's a camera rewinding and it sounds like a shaver.  I've remastered 21 Bonzo tracks recently with a new system called Pro-Tools, and it's amazing the difference in the sound quality. As far as my own stuff is concerned, yes, I think  I can release some of the Innes Book of Records album, and Off the Record album, and yes, I do want to do some new things. I do things both as myself, and I'm  having a lot of fun inventing fictional bands and characters. And I might do a kind of project which is a kind of broad parody of the music industry as well.

So, yeah, I've been semi retired, and playing too much golf for too long.  I've got an appetite for it.  So yes, Mark and Harvey: album, videos, books, ice hockey, anything!
 
Bert and Christine ask... "Have you got any plans for touring?"

Well, yeah, that's exactly what I am embarking upon now, I mean, this a little one-off tryout gig,  and there'll be some more in the autumn, and then some more next Spring.  And I'd love to go back  to the Netherlands again.  I had a very happy time for a week in the (Kleine Komedie) in Amsterdam. And yes, I'd like to do the USA as well. I mean, just to do these nice small, you know, little groups and just be normal, you know, and not try to do huge arenas....that's so negative.  Now Samantha is torturing a wasp!  So, yeah,  touring is very much on the cards. I'd like to do at least two a year, not too long... you know, maybe a month, six weeks, and still allow time for golf.
 
RockHonky, RutleFan, Ira, Harvey and Christine ask:

It's not the same Harvey, is it?  Right,

"Who owns the rights to your back catalogue?"

Bastards do!
 
"Do you have any plans to re-release any of it? What about those songs that have never been commercially released?"

I'll probably answered that in a couple of the other things. But, the Bonzo back catalogue is owned by EMI forever and ever and ever, amen, but we have got the rights to re-release it in Europe, and put it together the way we want to. And then they have an option to release it in the other territories, so we'll see what happens on that one.

Yeah, I think I own my back catalogue of stuff that I did from Innes Book of Records and whatnot, so I'll probably be doing something with that. Well, just so that it's available, you know.  I mean, there's no way I can sort of do it in a high profile way.  You know, maybe the thing to do is to sort of say, "Yeah, we've got it now and it's on the net," and let people know.  And I have said to Bonnie and Laurie, I think it'd be rather nice to sort of actually be able to sort of play some stuff over the site as well.  Maybe stuff that is, (makes a pause-to-think sound) you know, worth having but not worth buying. (laughs) You know, just amongst mates.  Just sort of, "This is me falling down the stairs... singin'."  And , yes, exactly, some of those that have never been commercially released, there was probably a good reason for it. Haha, but uh, yeah, we can probably do things like that, like Cat Meat Conga, and what not.

Yeah, I mean, dear Danny Barbour in Glasgow, I've given--I haven't given it, but I've lent it--my two track quarter inch tape recorder, and he's dubbing them off from quarter-inch onto c.d., which is very very kind of him, because in fact magnetic tape does rot and go bad over the years. So, um, yeah, I'm not sure about Lucky Planet, that's an EMI thing again.  The Innes Book of Records, I don't know, I think the BBC own that. GLOOM DOOM AND VERY FUNNY MONEY I'm looking into. You know, quite by accident, doing that book on economics was an eye-opener for me, and I think part of what I want to do in the future as well is to make some jokes about the way we all live, really. I suppose I've always been doing that, but I want to focus it a little bit more. Reduce it, reduce it down to the point of absurdity, which is what it is, then we can all start building up again, maybe... maybe. Ha ha. Yeah,  I think I might develop the Jean-Paul Satire character a bit more, because you can have fun with language, you know.  Right off the top of my head, he can say things like "I am a pompous prick, for you!"  (Laughs) Okay.
 
Bonnie and Lab Coat ask:
"What sort of art did you do in college?  And do you still have any of your work from that era?"

Well, very little, cause I haven't collected much at all. The art was fine art -- painting, in other words. Stuff of no possible use to anyone. 'Cause I've always been like in the ancient Greek World:  I've always been on the side of philosophy,  rather than sophistry.  The Sophists did it for money and the philosophers did it just for the sake of finding out. So, about the only thing I've got left is my Mona Lisa jacket -- a leather jacket with Mona Lisa on the back -- and my canvas suit, sort of painted like Constable's "Flatford Mill." Incidentally, I play golf with John Constable's great great great grandson, who's also called John Constable. He's a painter too.  He's a very, very nice man. Anyway...
 
 Logan and Christine ask:
"Who were your influences, musical or otherwise?

Just about everybody. When I was about two or three, I used to refuse to go to bed until I'd conducted the radio, with a little ruler, dancing around in my pajama top and no bottoms...so play with that image!
 
"Musically, who are your current favorites?"

Right now I have got a Duke Ellington c.d. which is absolute... It's sheer genius.  It's absolute genius. And I meant to bring it down to play last night before the show.. I think I might actually take it wherever I go. It's such an excellent , excellent c.d. And I got it for something like 3 pounds in one of those bargain bins. Isn't it awful? It just shows you the values of the world are completely arse about tit.
 
"Do I like any current popular music?"

Yes, quite a bit, but I mean too numerous to mention, really, right now. I'm trying to think... yeah, I quite like Pulp and Blur--bits of them. And though I don't really follow popular music and the charts much these days, I am happier hearing R and B coming back, and more human-type music coming out, it's always nice to hear.  And there's a lot of good, talented young people out there doing it.
 
Dagny or Donyee asks:
"I'd like to know what sort role your lyrics play in your songs?"

Well, they actually... they do the words.

"What do you put into them?"

Spelling.

This is some bit... "and what you put into them. I'm obsessed with song lyrics, basically, and I've noticed both a lot of humor and also some sort of serious lyrical content fit in there..."
 
Yeah, that's my trouble, Dagny: I try and do it all, really.  I'm a sort of serio-comic. I think if you go just comedy, you know, you run the risk of thinning out what anything means, and if you go too serious, you also... you get too pompous, I suppose. I don't know, I thought Shakespeare had it about right, he did dramas and comedy, and why can't I?  I want it all! It's something that Ned Sherrin on Loose Ends said once, he said, "What's this More Jam tomorrow all about?" And I said, "Well, to sum it up, it's like Shakespeare, only with better songs."  Anyway... yes, so I try and mix humour and serious content, so that the one ought to be able to shine the light on the other one.
 
"I particularly like the first two lines of "Shangri-La", that's the closest
to a philosophy I've ever got...."

Oh, right, yes: "Did you ever get the feeling that the truth is less revealing than a downright lie?"  Yes, I like that line, too. Every now and again they pop into your head. I just think I need a new kind of room where I can just hop out of bed and write on the walls with a felt tip. But I have to talk to Yvonne  about that.

"To what extent do you think about your lyrics?"

A fair bit! You know... let's sort of say that sometimes you think better because you feel about what you're thinking about and sometimes when you feel something, you have to think about it in order to understand it. So, it's a mixture between thinking and feeling.  Ultimately, I think I let a feeling about the lyric go right, you know.  I like words to be musical, too, and so I'll often change a lyric  just because it sounds softer on the ear or harder, because it fits the melody or whatever, you know.  And I like to try and... that is, I suppose, the fun, is trying to get the lyric to sort of really  match the tune. For an example, not one of mine, but that nonsense song, "Mairzy doats and dozy doats and little lambsie divy,"  I mean, that's very musical, in terms of phonetic sounds, and then you can break it  down into "mares eat oats, and does eat oats," and you get close to sort of the average political statement.
 
Laurie asks:
"Have you got a favorite song that you wrote, and if so, which one and why?"

Whoah, I couldn't do that, otherwise I'd be beaten by the other ones. No, I can't...no, I never think about that. In fact, somebody gave me some advice a while ago, he said, "Don't analyze what you do," and I don't try and analyze what I do too much, otherwise, I think (whispers) that way madness lies.
 
 Christine asks:
"What inspired your brilliant guitar solo on Canyons of Your Mind?"

(Laughs) Uh, drugs. (laughs) No, it was just, "Go for a bad guitar solo." And the thing was, we had a rehearsal and we played it through, and the one you ended up with is quite like the rehearsal, because everyone fell about so much, I tried to redo it.  But I really, really wish we'd kept the first one. But it's as close as I could get to the first one. I don't know, sometimes it's best not to think, or do anything:  just do it!

Bert asks:
"Once there was a plan to make a performance with one of the greatest Dutch comedians (Freek de Jonge), but that never worked out. Why not?"

Well, basically, my Dutch is very bad. No, I don't think it's anything to do with not doing it.  We are very very good friends, Freek and I, and one day, we will.  One day, I'm sure we will. I think part of the problem is that he's a workaholic,  and I'm bone idle. I think he's doing something like 12 shows this year running up to the Millennium.  I've e-mailed him, sort of begging him to take it easy.  In fact, he should take some of my bone idleness, and I could take some of his energy.  When we were both 50, we sort of thought of--we're the same age, really...well, he's a few months older than me--but I think when we're 60, we might be quite rascally together.
 
 Helen asks:
"What instrument do you most enjoy playing? What sort of training did you have in music?"
 
Right..... hmmmm.... the piano, I suppose. Although....no, it's a swap between  guitar and piano 'cause the guitar can be very expressive, and I ought to try and play it a bit better than I do. In fact, I ought to play the piano a bit better than I do:  I don't practice enough. But it's a terrific kind of release to be able to play an instrument. The training I had was on the piano, started at the age of seven. The hurdle was, you know,when I came to playing something different with my left hand to my right hand.  I had this very patient German piano teacher--we lived in Germany at the time--and I declared it was impossible for the left hand to do something different to the right hand. And he said (in German accent),  "Well, Neil, I don't think so.  Look at this:  My left hand is doing something different to the right hand."  "Damn! I've been proved wrong!"  So I had to stick at it. So, eventually I got my left hand to do something different to the right hand and then it took off!

But the thing is, kids:  when you're learning an instrument, as soon as you
finish one piece and play it well, they give you a harder one, and a harder one and a harder one!  I was getting through Mazurkas, Chopin, preludes, and all sorts of things. And I thought,suddenly, about the age of 14, when the glands kick in, "Who the hell am I working for?!?"  So that's when I taught myself guitar and went much more to painting.  That's the trouble,  you see:   I'm a bit of a Jack of All Trades, Master of None.

Christine asks:
"How much creative freedom did you have while making the IBoR videos?"

Quite a bit. The game was with the producer, Ian Keill, that I would write anything.  So if I said, "At this point, three hundred Mongolian horsemen come over the hill,"  'cause it explained the joke, his job would then be to say, "Well, what would be a cheaper way of doing the three hundred Mongolian horsemen?  How about a Pony Club trek?"  And I'd say, "Okay,"  'cause the joke was still there.  We had very much a sort of  to-ing and fro-ing on the creative ideas, and I would do what was the most...what I'd like, and then he'd come back with what was possible.

"Did you create the videos around the original songs or vice versa?"

No, we did videos around the original songs.  In a way, we were kind of pioneering putting pictures to songs, because I don't think videos...they didn't really come in until the 80's, did they?  And we started around 78-79.  That was the idea.  I always called The Innes Book of Records "songs and pictures about people and things," and I sort of don't want to think of it any more than that.

"What came first  - the song Ungawa or the idea to wear a loincloth and swing from a tree limb?"

No, the idea came, from the Tarzan movies. "Ungawa" is a real Tarzan word. And it's a magical word, cause he can say, "Ungawa!" and an elephant will sort of, like, make the elevator work, and take Jane up to the treehouse. And he can say, "Ungawa!"  to a chimp, and he goes, "Right away, Boss!"  you know, and goes off and....gets the computer. And so "Ungawa" is sort of a word from Tarzan. So I wrote the song based on Tarzan called Ungawa, so the logical thing to do was to then become Tarzan.   I did all my own stunts, indeed.  In fact it was quite funny diving into the lake at Chatsworth, and they'd put a speaker under the water, so I could hear the thing. We managed to time it right.  I sort of dived in, hear the bit, then come up and start to go, "Aaaaaaahhhhh, Ungawa"  Honestly, the things you do!  Bloody cold the water was, too!
 

María asks:
"In IBoR, there were a lot of one-off characters, but there were two would appear at least once in almost every show.  Could you explain a bit about where they came from and why you chose to use them so much?"
 

Well, I suppose the regulars were Bob Nylon.  I suppose he's fairly close to Bob Dylan, but not a direct sendup of Bob Dylan -- it's the sort of ... that kind of angst-ridden protest singer, which but for the grace of God I think I would be if I didn't have some sense of humour.

Nick Cabaret was literally stolen from the film Cabaret, that Joel Grey character with the white face.  I saw the film and I thought -- I've always had this kind of love of theater.  I like Marcel Marceau  and all that kind of thing. And there's something wonderful about clowning, and that was like sophisticated clowning. And I wanted this character who could look rather odd wherever he was, whether he was outdoors or indoors. Sort of androgynous ... but funnily enough people really took to him.  But anyway, I liked to sort of leave the trail of where it's come from, so I called it  "Nick. Cabaret."

And the other one is Nobby Normal.  And I suppose he's a bit like my dad, and everybody's dad. You know:  Went through the war, doesn't understand what's going on. Everything that happens on a domestic level happens to Nobby, and Mrs. Nobby. So I thought they'd be sort of three fairly good characters to sort of have as mainstays that would pop up every week. Why I choose to use them so much is for that reason: they quickly anchor....I mean, if you look at some shows these days, like The Fast Show, regular characters become a virtue in the end.  I'm not sure that I thought it out that much in those days. But it becomes like a strip cartoon in a paper.  You get certain characters and you just...it's comforting to sort of see, "Oh, they're still there.  Yeah, they're doing that." You know, it's nothing too deep.
 
Paul asks:
"Wherever did you get that russian-esque hat that was seen in at the Bonzos' "Neil's Fun Corner"?"
 
Ah, the peaked cap! Yes!  No, I think that's an old bandman's cap or something.  Yes, it is rather Russian, but I think the Russians would have had a bigger peak on it. (laughs)  I think it's an old Salvation Army cap, or something like that. I think bands used to wear caps like that. It came from a kind of Victorian junkshop. And yeah, I wish I still had it, actually.  Yeah, I love hats 'cause I've got one of those sort of haircuts that demand you wear a hat--especially in cold weather!

"I've heard that you're a big fan of hats; have you got a favourite? Perhaps our friend, the rockin' duck?"
 
Yeah, the duck:  The Rocking Duck one came from the original Quacksie hat.  I was in Woolworth's one day, there was a whole row of these sort of ducks--plastic ducks on wheels--and they  were called "Quacksies."  And I looked at them and I thought, for some reason--and I don't want to explain it, or go into it, or have analysis over it or anything--but I looked at them and thought, "Hmmm...if I cut the wheels off that, that would make a hat."   So I bought one, took it home, cut the wheels off it, and sure enough it did make a hat!  It's the duck I wore on my head for "Alias Normal Man" in the same magazine as Neil's Fun Corner.   No........yes, it was.   And then I wore it through Python  tours and things like that.  Unfortunately, Air Canada  lost it, and I was
stuck without it and I couldn't....didn't have one to wear on the Hollywood Bowl program. And it was funny:  The Python office were ringing round Woolworth's and international buyers, saying, "Where are the Quacksies?"  and they're going, "Oh, yeah....." (laughs)  But we tried, and they denied the Quacksies ever existing, and things like that.  And then, a really kind chap in Philadelphia, offered me his, and in fact he sent me his Quacksie.  And so I now have a Quacksie again.  So thank you! Golly...   I can't... the name escapes me 'cause I'm here, and miles away from home, and I can't remember.  But thank you very much again! (Wayne Honath?)

 Chamelia asks:
"Suppose you could pick anyone in history, dead or alive, and ask them one question which they would answer truthfully. (That's not too much of a stretch, is it?) Who would you choose and what would you ask?"

(laughing) Are you kidding?!? I think that's an Olympic -level stretch!
Oh, get out of it, come on!  Uhhh......I'd pick someone dead and say,  "How is it you can listen to me, truthfully?" Okay. No... I... ooohhh...Socrates, I'd have to go for Socrates. 'Cause I mean, of all the people... you can't be sure he said it, anyway, 'cause Plato put it down and can we trust Plato?  I mean, the arguments are wonderful.  I think one day I'd like to do a musical based on Symposium. Yeah, Socrates. And what would I ask? That's a good one. What would I ask Socrates? I'll get back to you on that. (laughs)

UPDATE: About six weeks later he really did get back to us on that!  Quote:

The meeting with Maria was a pleasure - tell her I've worked out what question I'd like to ask Socrates (something I couldn't figure at the time of the interview) it is: